Met a girl for dinner after she was “going out after work with coworkers”. She shows up shitfaced… Born To Fly Across The City Parkour Shirt to order a glass of wine and guzzle it. Her first question was “how often do you masturbate because my ex did it too much and he couldn’t stay hard for me…” all the questions were weird personal sex questions. She kept ordering more wine and the server wasn’t getting my hint to cut her off. I tried to cut the date short… ordered appetizer and said I was full after… and she proceeded to try to drive home. I offered to drive her home so she didn’t drive drunk. (It wasn’t far). She asked if we could stop off somewhere on the way… which turned out to be a Circle K where she just wanted an ICEE and cigarettes (she never told me she smoked and she tried to walk behind the counter to pick out her cigarettes until the employee stopped her)… Get to her house and she grabs my ears and tries to full-on french kiss me… but it was more like licking my mouth… I
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I help her to her door and she takes her top off… and Born To Fly Across The City Parkour Shirt me by the collar and pulls me inside. Door still open… she puts on music (“Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia) and starts topless hippie dancing in the middle of the living room. I proceed to Parkour… and she stops me by saying she wanted to show me Parkour before I left. I linger in the doorway as she comes out with her arms full of ROCKS. They were those geodes (cut in half with the crystals in the middle) and she lays them on the floor and starts handing them to me explaining where each of them was from. She would not stop talking about her ex and her dog. The convo was flowing all night but man, every single topic I brought up had to include her ex somehow – she even showed me pictures of them together and whatnot which included her dog. I didn’t mind in the beginning since I also spoke about my ex but 3 hours into our date I was still hearing how her ex called her up just to hook up and ghost her. As disastrous as that was, the geode thing was kind of adorable.
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