Not empathizing when you’re upset. Unable to show they care unless if benefits them. Dog Merica 4th Of July Vintage Shirt to their friends about you, rather than hearing your own words on how you’re feeling. Showing up wherever you are, even if you didn’t tell them where you were going. Love bombing when they make a mistake, then repeating the mistake. Arguing with you about your feelings when you speak up about their actions. When you stop hanging out with your friends, (so long as they were healthy before). Insisting they pay for something, but then hold it against you at a later point. “Educating” you on how you should act. Their friends not keeping in contact with them. Wanting to be exclusive even though you’ve only known each other for a very short amount of time, then being insecure when you say yes. Complaining when you spend time with your friends, early on in the relationship. Sex is more focused on their pleasure, and no aftercare. Unsaid expectations and not setting and agreeing on how things should flow in a relationship such as an unsaid expectation that the woman should always do the laundry.
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Every ex was crazy. Every boss ever was a dick. They didn’t graduate, because of that one Dog Merica 4th Of July Vintage Shirt, who hated them after they corrected them on their mistake. Their siblings don’t talk to them, because they’re jealous of their success. They had friends once, but they were toxic and they don’t need that kind of drama in their lives. They don’t go to this and this and that place, because the bartenders are awful. Generally, the world is out to get them, because they are too nice. I think this is half true. Ironically enough people who are victims of emotional abuse often will have a string of abusive, crazy partners. All of my current gf’s exes are narcissistic abusive assholes who belittled her for moving away for college, told her she would never amount to anything, threw temper tantrums, gaslit her (“it’s YOUR fault I’m angry”, “I only smashed your phone because YOU were texting other guys”), and told her that no one but them would ever love her. Yep, every ex, and also random other people, are either crazy or “rude” or “stupid” – colleagues, shop assistants, family members, wait-staff, yadda yadda. It’s always “other people” causing incidents whether real or perceived.
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