She’s doing nothing but texting whilst I’m left talking Legendary Dad Star Wars The Mandalorian Shirt her parents (didn’t expect a date with them). At this point I don’t know what to expect anymore, luckily I was able to convince her to go out after a bit and we end up having drinks… all in all she wasn’t my type, definitely after that date. So I don’t have many, because I’d only been swiping for a few months before I met someone, but maybe I’m also naive enough to have some funny things happy already. Like the time I thought the bot I was chatting with was just someone who was super distracted… Anyway, matched with a cute girl, she likes to climb, we have good chat, great. Let’s go and do some top rope and hang out. But she doesn’t have a car, so I need to pick her up, 30min off route. I’m not thrilled but whatever. Meet her and, well, it’s not her. Or it is her from the profile, but maybe from 5-8 years and a kid ago? I’m tempted to call it off but I’m too much of a softie, and she says she made cookies. I love cookies. We head off to the small local cliff.
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We arrive, walk the ten minute approach, the Legendary Dad Star Wars The Mandalorian Shirt is still fine but I’m wary now. I resolve to just have a nice time and have some fun, and just learn from the experience. She’s perfectly nice but I’m seeing red flags. At the crag she says she borrowed her friend’s shoes and isn’t sure they’ll fit. Same with the harness. Uh oh. Well they do fit, yay!, so I rig the anchor and we start climbing on a nice 5.6 (easy) for a warm up. Except that she can’t climb. Fine, okay, whatever. We’re still chatting as she works on the off-ground move, and then just bursts into tears. Turns out that it’s HER SISTER’S DATING PROFILE and that’s who she borrowed the stuff from, and that HER HUSBAND DOESN’T KNOW SHE’S ON DATING APPS. I find all of this out amid tears and so does everyone else there who can overheat it. Some very awkward talk therapy later, I drop her back at her house (is it her house? Is it her neighbour’s house so that hubby doesn’t see?) and she leaves me the cookies as an apology.
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