Turns out the girls had no money one her and tried to My First Mother’s Day As A Grandma Shirt out of paying by saying she was an influencer and showed her Facebook account (she had like 50 friends and no one reacted to her photos). Back when I worked at a deli, I ended up randomly hooking up with a customer. I got her number after we hooked up and I called her to set up an Mother’s Day for that weekend. Turns out we were just not compatible in the slightest. We went somewhere to drink where the music was too loud, and I could barely hear what she was saying, so there was a lot of “Mother’s Day?” and me asking her to repeat herself. That combined with the fact that we really had nothing in common just led to a lot of awkward silences throughout the entire date. Got a flat tire after picking her up. Dinner reservation was lost. CC got declined so I had to walk to an ATM that was half a mile down the road. Missed show due to said dinner reservation being lost. Ran into my ex who tried to start a fight with my date.
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Before drinks arrive he asked “on a scale of 1 to 10 how My First Mother’s Day As A Grandma Shirt to me are you”, “scale 1 to 10 how well is this going”? Etc. I couldn’t even figure out if I liked him because he kept asking for rankings then he freaked out when I turned him down for a kiss. Full toddler style tantrum. We went to see The Italian Job, and he talked through the entire thing, all ridiculous smug BS about how he would have been better at being a criminal than they were, if he really wanted to. Afterward I wanted to go home but he drove me to his house anyway. I had no idea where I was, so I just sat and waited for him to get bored of me and take me home. It took hours. He got into his hot tub and talked endlessly about how smart and rich and awesome he was while I just sat there making noncommittal noises. Finally he agreed to drive me home. He tried to kiss me in the car and I flinched away. He told me it was a shame I was too immature for him. Either way, I was high as fuck and wasn’t going to not get some enchiladas, so I went in and got a table for one.
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