Was working at a mobile home manufacturing factory, I was on Original Udo Lindenberg Shirt of the drywall crews… one of the older guys asked me to go find him the ‘board stretcher’… I walked around the entire plant for over an hour looking for it, was asking for mans of other crews where the fuck I could find it, they say would something like “oh, just over there by the west wall”, the next guy would tell me it was on the other side… hell I even asked the owner of the whole company, he kind of just chuckled “oh it’s around here somewhere” and walked away. I was completely perplexed and finally gave up, came back and told my foreman I couldn’t find it “damn, we really need to start chaining that thing up”. I had absolutely no idea I was being played for 3 years before it finally dawned on me that I am a fucking dumbass. I go to a tech school, so whenever one of the freshman starts annoying the teacher, he just sends them to other shops for tools/resources that don’t exist. Blinker fluid, wire stretchers, and lefty screwdrivers are probably my favorites personally. Did you hear that? The king’s too fat for his ! Go find the breastplate stretcher!
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When I first started doing masonry work the boss had me go to the Original Udo Lindenberg Shirt and buy a “block stretcher”. Anyways the guy at the hardware store got a good laugh. So my big brain move was to take myself out for breakfast. Got back 2-3 hours later (should have been 30-45mins max). Boss was upset I took so long, I just told him I checked every store in the area and no one has one. When I was in high school a younger kid got sent to our class to pick up a lefty screwdriver and some elbow grease. Our teacher actually went to get some Vaseline and a screwdriver to send him back with lmao. Had a somewhat abusive father growing up. Only bone I ever broke was his handiwork. Both he and my mother insist to this day that it never happened. That I broke my foot in a marching band accident. Must have just slipped my mind. My mom has severe bi polar disorder, she once told me she would never yell at me again after a huge meltdown when I was very young, like 5 or 6. I thought of that every time she ever yelled after that my whole life, which was at least every other day. It’s just one of those things from childhood that always stuck with me.
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